Benedetta and the Eucharist



Then Jesus took the bread, said the blessing, broke I, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body, which will be given for you; do this in memory of me,"
(Lk 22:19)


I would like to introduce you to a very special friend, a young woman, who witnessed Jesus’ unconditional love through her very own life.
Many books have been written and much has been said about her by many theologians and by witnesses much more competent and learned than I am.
So, why mind to write and recount something more about her? The following is a little testimony about Benedetta, it is my very simple and humble way to say "thank you" to God for the gift that Benedetta is in my life.
Through Benedetta’s example, God is teaching me what it means Eucharist and living a Eucharistic life and for the gift of His Son in Benedetta I will be thankful to Him forever.
May these few and simple words give glory to God for the wonders He is doing for us. Together with this very deep longing to spread the word about Benedetta, came also many doubts about what to say and how to present her in a way worthy of such a wonderful follower of Christ.
Many fears came also along with these, because I am not a theologian, I am not an eye-witness and, by being 36 years old, I am also much too inexperienced to give witness to the Truth.
And yet the longing is so deep and God’s call is so strong, that I can only say ‘yes’ to Him. God knows my fears and my doubts and thus sent a messenger to show me the way.
A man, whose writings and teachings I love, because they speak so clearly to my heart of the One whom I love. A man, whose simple and direct words truly make my heart burn, because they make feel Jesus so alive among us.
This messenger, this man, I am speaking about died in 1996, his name is Father Henri Nouwen, an excellent theologian, a teacher, a brilliant scholar and a humble priest.
Knowing my love for Father Nouwen and his writings, my friend Jan shared with me a video tape about him. (Spirituality and Passion of Fr. Nouwen)
In this video tape Father Nouwen is preaching about being the Beloved Sons and Daughters of God. How?
By doing in Jesus’ memory, what He did for us, by living a Eucharistic life, according to Jesus’ example and words during the Last Supper.

"Then Jesus took the bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body, which will be given for you; do this in memory of me," (Lk 22:19)
These four words are at the very center of the Eucharist. These four words are at the very center of a Eucharistic life: taken, blessed, broken and given.
God, through Fr. Nouwen’s words, showed me the way He was calling me to walk to present my humble testimony about the Venerable Benedetta Bianchi Porro.
Like the Eucharistic Bread, Benedetta was taken.
Benedetta was blessed.
Benedetta was broken.
Benedetta was given.
May the Holy Spirit open my mind, enlighten my heart and give me wisdom and courage to proclaim the Truth.

With so many saints and remarkable witnesses of Christ, why exactly do I want to present Benedetta?
There are some family ties and personal experiences that I might need to explain before entering deep into the Eucharistic gift of Benedetta.
First of all I was introduced to Benedetta when I was 10 years old: she was sent to us by God through the marriage of my mom’s youngest brother Carlo and Benedetta’s youngest sister Carmen.
Thus, since I was a child, Benedetta was brought back to life through personal relationship with her family: I can clearly remember her mom and dad and I still have the opportunity to talk with her siblings from time to time, especially with my aunt Carmen. So, at 10 years old happened my first unconscious approach with Benedetta.
Then, of course, life goes on, years fly by, I grew up, got married, had children and moved a couple of times
throughout the world, until we settled in Omaha, Nebraska. Of course our little belongings came along with us and Benedetta’s books were among them. They stayed on a dusty shelf until God called me to become Oblate of St. Benedict, to serve Him and others as a lay person according to the Gospel’s teachings and to the Rule of St. Benedict.
This call truly changed and is still changing my life, making me more aware of the love of God for me, one of His creature, and of how much I need to love Him and all those He has given me.
In September 2003, a month before my Oblation, I was asked to choose a Patron Saint, as I was going to promise and offer the gift of myself to God. A Patron Saint, who would help me to walk the journey of my life closer and closer to God, as an oblation, a gift pleasing to Him.
That’s when Benedetta came to my heart: her life was very familiar to me, her name would always remind me of the wonderful St. Benedict and of His Rule, that I was promising to live in my daily life as a wife and a mother.
Her example would help me to become the offering that God wanted me to become and above all her imitation of Christ would show me the way to walk on my journey to become bread taken, blessed, broken and given.
Her example would teach me to live a Eucharistic Life.
In addition to that, Benedetta being "Venerable", and still on her journey to be proclaimed "Saint" by the Church, is constantly reminding me, that I, too, am called to walk the way of holiness in my daily life, if I desire one day to see God face to face.
Benedetta and I also have a common love for the following poem by Tagore.
This story describes very well the kind of total offering that Benedetta was. This story describes very well the kind of offering I long to become: a complete and boundless giving of myself to God, Who gave life and can transform my being into a pure and pleasing offering, just as Benedetta was and is, just as Jesus Himself was and is. A perfect and pleasing gift to the Father.


"I had gone begging from door to door along the path of the village, when in a distance appeared your golden coach like a wondrous sign; I asked myself: Who is this King of all kings?
My hopes increased and I thought my sad days were now ended; I stood there waiting hoping that an alms would be given to me without my asking for it, and that the riches would be spread all over in the dust.
The coach stopped right in front of me. Your glance fell upon me as you stepped down with a smile. I felt that the supreme moment of my life had arrived. But all of a sudden, you extended your right hand and asked me: What have you to give Me?
Ah! what a royal gesture that was to extend your palm to beg of a poor man. Confused and hesitant, I slowly pulled a grain of corn out of my sack and I gave it to you.
But imagine my great surprise, when at the end of the day, I emptied my sack upon the floor and found in the poor little pile of corn, a tiny little grain of gold.
I wept bitterly for not having had the heart to give all that I possessed".
(Rabindranath Tagore).

It is now time to dive into the Eucharistic gift of Benedetta.

May God, through Benedetta’s example, teach each of us to become the unique and precious gift we alone can be.


TAKEN


Benedetta, like the Bread, was "taken", chosen by God and made unique by Him.
God loves Benedetta so much to call her to earthly life.
Among many, God created her with her unique qualities, gifts, talents and an exceptional love for God and for all those around her.

She was born on August 8th, 1936 in Dovadola, near Forli, in Central Italy.
She was the second of six children of Guido Bianchi Porro and Elsa Giammarchi.
Shortly after her birth, little Benedetta was the victim of poliomyelitis and was left with a crippled leg. This was the first of many trials that were to blossom into a covenant of love and friendship with God, into a true apostolate of suffering.

At the early age of five, she started to write a diary at the request of her mother who saw in this child something over and above the natural qualities of her other children. It is through her diary and her letters that we learn of her suffering and her personal experience in faith; of how she gave God the central place in her life; of how she made Him known to all.

Benedetta, like most children, was a sensitive, delicate, intelligent and strong-willed child. However, unlike most children, she often retired in "thoughtful" silence contemplating the miracle of God's world manifested all around her: in the flowers, the sunny fields, in the little cherry tree she watered daily, in the marvellous dawn and glorious sun." She confided to her diary the wondrous joys of her discoveries, writing: "Dear Diary - The universe is enchanting! It is great to be alive!"
A happy child, she would run to see the harvesting of the grain, sit spellbound listening to the men singing at their work, mingle with other children frolicking on the threshing floor and try to force her little legs, one of which was lame, to climb a huge cypress tree, because "up in its branches she had built her little house."

One is struck by this need that she had to be alone to contemplate the world around her; a world she was learning to love in its simplicity, beauty and majesty; a world which in time was to be forever closed to her, but which would always remain alive in her.

Benedetta loved her studies and was interested in anything and everything. She decided at a very young age that she would become a doctor, because she wanted to give herself to others. She made every effort to complete her preliminary studies as soon as possible. The amazing efforts of this exuberant young girl were soon clouded by hidden fears.

These fears stemmed, first of all, from the fact that Benedetta, as a consequence of poliomyelitis (and of a shorter leg because of polio) had to wear a brace to prevent deformation of the spine. We get a glimpse of her anguish from her diary, wherein she writes: "Dear Diary - I put on my brace for the first time this morning, what tears! It squeezes me way up under my armpits and almost takes my breath away." These are evident signs of discouragement which Benedetta constantly tried to overcome so that she may get closer to interior serenity.

A second source of fear was the terrible realisation that she was gradually losing her sense of hearing. Many times because of this she was misunderstood by her teachers and ridiculed by her classmates. On one of those occasions she noted in her diary: "Dear Diary - What a bad impression I make at times, but it doesn't matter. Some day soon, I will hear only the voice of my soul and that is the road I will follow". These hidden fears never lessened her determination.

Having completed her preliminary studies, at the age of seventeen, she enrolled at the University of Milan. That day she wrote in her diary: "Dear Diary - I face my new studies with new strength; I must fulfil my dream of becoming a physician. I want to live, to fight, to sacrifice myself for all mankind". She chose physics as her major, just to please her father, but later changed to medicine.
Her life as a University student was also destined to be a trying one, but she never gave in as we shall see later. When she happened to be confined to bed and an exam was due, her zeal prompted her even to evade the surveillance of her mother. Accompanied by her little maid Anna, who never left her, she would leave her hospital bed, take her exams, then quietly return, pretending that she had never left it.
After two years of diligent study amid suffering and trials, she finally arrived at the final exams which were to decide her future as a student. Benedetta courageously presented herself and asked that the questions be given to her in writing. (By this time she was almost deaf). This request so exasperated the professor that he refused to let her take the exams, shouting: "Whoever heard of a deaf physician!"
Later on, however, at the request of the Rector of the University and some of the other professors, she was permitted to take them. The questions were given to her in writing, she answered orally, and, as usual, passed, and was admitted to further studies.

Benedetta was "little" and humble. Taken and chosen by God, she followed the path of humility and simplicity, in imitation of Christ who was "meek and humble of heart".

"God loves the little ones, because they can better feel and experience His Greatness" (Benedetta, Dec. 1st, 1961)
 
BLESSED

From the beginning of her life, Benedetta was blessed by God with a simple and yet very wise heart. Not many would consider her disease as a blessing, but I do believe that she was blessed with her sickness and further suffering and trials, so that God may reveal His Mighty Hand, Faithful Presence and Everlasting Help through a humble and simple creature like Benedetta.
Through this time of blessed suffering and pain, Benedetta diminishes and Christ increases in her. As St. Paul says "I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me" (Gal 2:19-20).

In the meantime Benedetta's mother, alarmed at her daughter's condition, which no doctor was ever able to diagnose, decided to take her to a psycho-analyst. He was greatly impressed by her; but he too had to admit that he was unable to diagnose her case because all the tests taken were negative.

In 1957, while she was still a student at the University, the first grave symptoms of her disease began to appear. A year later Benedetta was able to diagnose her own disease: Recklinghausen Disease­Neuro-Fibromatosis "a paralysis of the nervous system which gradually invades all the nerve centres; a mysterious sickness which even today is not completely understood".

A year later, in 1958, she had to undergo a head operation. This attempt to stem the advance of the disease resulted in a facial lesion and paralysis of half of the left side of her face. She confided to her dearest friend Maria Grazia who visited her at the time: "Sometimes I find myself defeated under the weight of this heavy cross.
Then, I call upon Jesus and lovingly cast myself at His feet; He kindly permits me to rest my head on His lap. Do you understand Maria Grazia? Do you understand the ecstatic joy of those moments?"

This new handicap did not prevent Benedetta from passing the required medical and surgical pathology exams. The following year, however, exhausted and weak, she failed her last exam. Her disease had slowly and silently been making headway; completely deaf, she had begun to lose her sense of touch, of taste and of smell. It was at this point that she was convinced that she had to give up her cherished medical career.

Her suffering continues: in August 1959 her parents consented, on the advice of several of the best specialists in Milan, to a spinal marrow operation. Benedetta to please her loved ones willingly underwent this new ordeal.
The result: paralysis of both legs. Benedetta was never to walk again, she was to be confined to her bed or her armchair. This came as a terrible blow to her parents, but for her, amazingly enough, nothing changed. Just as her trials increased, so did she advance in grace; she completely forgot herself and began to live in others.

Blessed by God, Benedetta becomes a blessing to others.

"The Lord gives us many sufferings, as many as we can bear: not one more, not one less." (Benedetta – Dec. 19th, 1963)

BROKEN

Now comes for Benedetta a time of trials, sufferings, darkness. Benedetta experiences now brokenness and yet this difficult time reveals itself as a time of special grace for her: her faith in God deepens and flourishes here. By God’s grace, she can vision something "negative" like suffering and pain into something "positive", challenging and life-giving.

Let us hear this through her own words:
"Sorrow: without Calvary nothing is possible. If the seed doesn’t die, it will not bear fruit. It is God, Who is making our sacrifice, our oblation worthwhile, we need to believe like Abraham did" (Benedetta, May 25th, 1961)

At the beginning of her exhausting ascent, Benedetta had written in her diary: "Dear Diary - I long for liberty, but how far from the prison of my life is this reality!" Later, at the peak of her suffering, she said to her mother, who was worried lest the little canary she had given her as a gift, might remind her of her own captivity: "No, Mother, I have never felt as free as I am now".

What a joyful message for those who suffer, for those who are shut in! What an example for all those who do not know that "God in His goodness makes everything new, and with Him everything is possible", even the most consuming suffering and loneliness!

This truth was revealed in the new life that this valiant young apostle of suffering was to build for herself to help others. Her room soon became a "crossroad of Iives", beautiful young lives: the medical students who suddenly realised that she would no longer be with them as they pursued their medical careers; young friends, who suddenly realised how much they loved her and what an example of gentleness, joy, humble gratitude and tireless zeal she had been to them.

Later, when asked about her, Paola, one of her new friends, speaking for all the others, said: "We always went in small groups to see her. We communicated with her all day, taking turns. There were moments of laughter, yes, we even sang together (her voice was hardly audible but she loved to sing); moments of prayer when we recited "None" and "Vespers" together. To her, friendship meant to travel the path of life with others, to live one’s life in others."

The Porro family changed residence several times during Benedetta's lifetime, but it was at Sirmione, near the Garda Lake, that she spent the last years of her invalid life. There she received her old friends and made many new ones; there she perfected her apostolate of suffering.

She was taken by her family to Lourdes, in May 1962. There, she witnessed not her own cure, but the cure of a young girl, Maria, who lay paralysed on a stretcher crying and despairing of her condition. Benedetta tried to console her squeezing her hand as if in prayer.
She whispered: "Maria, Our Lady is there, Our lady is looking at you! Ask the Madonna to help you". Then she prayed silently. All of a sudden, Maria rose from her stretcher and walked! On her return, Benedetta wrote to Maria Grazia: "During our pilgrimage a miracle happened. What excitement and what joy! God’s mercy is limitless".

In October '62 she had to be treated for mouth abscesses, and many of her teeth had to be removed. She had totally lost her sense of taste and smell.
The paralysis had now spread to the whole of her body, and her sense of touch was confined merely to her right hand.

On Feb. 27, 1963 Benedetta was taken to the "Citta' di Milano" clinic for another brain operation. She was terribly frightened as she prepared to face this new and unexpected ordeal. To console her, Maria Grazia recited a few words of Bernanos, taken from "The Diary of a Country Curate", slightly changing the text, so that she would not understand that he was referring to his own death. "If I am afraid, I'll say without shame, 'I am afraid' and God will reassure me". She repeated the words over and over again gaining more courage each time. Later, she used these same words when comforting others.

During the hours immediately following the operation, Benedetta was in immeasurable pain. She cried: "What agony, my God, what agony, but I want to give myself willingly with joy - not because I must - but because I want to. I find myself once again in the Garden of Olives. Yes, the Lord is my Shepherd - thank you for reminding me".

On February 28th, the morning after the operation, Benedetta became totally blind.
Tense hours followed this heartrending event "She was very ill; it was painful for her even to breathe.
She struggled while they inserted the intravenous needles into the veins on the back of her right hand.
Using her free hand, those around her tried for the first time to speak to her, now deaf and blind, by means of the deaf alphabet she had learned, forming on her face and body the single formal letters of the finger language. But she was not yet accustomed to this exercise of heroic patience". (Maria Gazia’s testimony).

Benedetta is struggling to accept her situation and her new challenge to reach out to others. And yet she keeps faith in the God of all Goodness: and God rewards her faith and trust in Him.
Like Jesus in the Getsemane, Benedetta is in anguish. Afraid and lonely she seems to be repeating Jesus’ prayer of abandonment: "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will." (Mt. 26:46)

And God heard her cry.
On March 1st, she was anointed, as death seemed imminent. But, the next day, to everyone’s surprise, a great calm came over her. Her mother noticed "that she seemed completely free from the fear and anguish that had seized her only a few days before. She seemed to accept her blindness as a path to greater joy and brighter light".

Thus began the last stage of her return journey to God, in complete darkness, or as she herself put it, "in isolation and emptiness". Deaf, totally paralysed and blind; a thin thread of a voice and one hand were now her only contacts with the outside world.

Far from being isolated and lonely, she became more alive to the mystery of God's love for her that had unfolded in such an unexpected manner. "Her bed became the pulpit from which Benedetta 'preached without preaching' lessons of patience, humility, fortitude, resignation to God's will, the value of the Cross endured with Christ and for Christ" (Father F.X. Grasso, S.J.) to people from all walks of life, believers and unbelievers alike. "They'd come and go in groups of ten and fifteen, with her mother as interpreter, she was able to communicate with each one. It seemed as though she could read our innermost souls with extreme clarity, even though she couldn't hear or see us. I will always remember her with her hand extended ready to receive the word of God and her brothers and sisters". (From Maria Grazia's Testimony).

On June 24 1963 she was again taken to Lourdes by her family. It was there that the miracle of her 'last discovery' took place. In a letter to Paola, her friend, she wrote: "I am aware more than ever of the richness of my condition and I don't desire anything but to continue in it. This has been for me the miracle of Lourdes this year".

She had willingly changed from "doing" to "being". Closed in a "mortal wilderness", Benedetta sang the joys of living and never stopped thanking God for the wonderful gift of life. For her, to die was to live. Repeatedly she would utter these phrases and others similar to them: "I know that we must die in order to help others to live"; - "If the grain that falls on the ground doesn't die it will not give bread and peace" - "The resurrection flows from death. It is the Paschal mystery" - "I think that everything is like spring that blossoms, blooms again and smells fragrant after the winter frost".

From Benedetta's own words we can understand how she arrived at the beautiful concept she had of life. "I am happy because I understand that without the shedding of blood there will be no remission". - "The cross in the sign of God in man". - "Life has only one face - LOVE". - "When we 'hunger and thirst' for God, we 'hunger and thirst' for others". - "God gives us His spiritual bread through others. I have experienced it. And others nourish themselves with the Living Bread".

She became "a small empty tent for the repose of her Lord". For her life is "anticipation"; death, "the most sweet call"; encounter, her "feast".

On November 1st 1963, Benedetta dreamed that she entered the cemetery of Dovadola. There she saw only one open tomb, her family tomb; in it she saw a white rose glowing in a sea of light. She was blinded by the glare and was forced to close her eyes. The next day she told her dream to her little sister Carmen and her friend Giuliana. She begged them not to mention it to her mother

Benedetta spent her last Christmas on earth in Milan with her dear friends. When bidding them farewell she said: "I am setting off for the stable where the Infant is being born, the mystery of love and sorrow".

When speaking of that last Christmas, Giuliana said: "As we were preparing for Christmas Day, Benedetta asked us to pray so that, that night peace would come upon earth; then she told us that she had asked God for a very special grace, 'the grace to be born again in Him'. I brought her a crucifix.
She touched it then said: 'I, too, must be like this, but always joyfully.' Even that night she forgot herself for others and showed an interest in everyone; she had words of encouragement and hope for all".

Benedetta was so full of hope herself that even from the depths of darkness, she never ceased to emphasise her own conviction. She often repeated:
"Let us not be overcome by doubt, never, never. And if this should happen even for a moment, Jesus will look down upon us and lovingly restore us to life, just as He did Lazarus. Have no fear". A truly encouraging message for all the fainthearted.

Benedetta, like each of us during sufferings, felt lost and abandoned. And yet when she needed help, God was there, and through the presence and the words of her relatives and friends, it was God Himself, Who gave her courage and strength to joyfully continue her walk on Calvary.
And when her family and friends needed her help, it was God Himself, Who through her humble presence and simple words, was consoling, comforting, "feeding" and "enlightening" them all.
It is with much humility, that Benedetta, her family and her friends allow God to work in their brokenness and to transform their brokenness into a mutual Channel of God’s Infinite Love and Mercy.

"In the sadness of my deafness, in the darkest of my solitude, I have tried to keep serene, so that my sorrow may bloom." (Benedetta, April 22and, 1963) and God will truly make the desert of her life bloom
GIVEN

By God’s grace, Benedetta is now allowed to see her darkness, her trials her sufferings as a challenge and wonderful opportunity to grow in her love for God and others. Humbling herself before God, Benedetta becomes a wonderful instrument in His Hands, giving hope to all those around her and receiving hope from them when she needed it.
Benedetta becomes Bread given and shared: through her, it is Christ Himself, Who is "feeding" and "refreshing" many throughout the world.
She can now freely and unreservedly share of herself with others and her death is only the beginning of a new Life in Christ.
Christ, through her, is working many conversions, touching many hearts and changing many lives (of course, mong these conversions is mine too).
Her body may be dead, buried in a tomb, but her example and, above all, her love will live forever.

New Year's Day, on her return to Sirmione, she found a telegram from her dear friend Roberto.
(Roberto was only a High School student when he met Benedetta. Benedetta was already blind) The message read: "Congregavit nos in unum Christi amor. Exultemus. The love of Christ makes us one. Let us rejoice".
When her mother gave the message to her, she begged her to stop: "Read slowly, Mother. It is the Church speaking to me". Roberto's words filled her with joy.
On the morning of January 23 1964, Benedetta begged her mother to read to her "The Act of Oblation to Merciful Love", found on the last page of the "Story of a Soul", the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux. Seated at her side, her mother moved her hand forming the letters very slowly because she noticed a sudden worsening of her condition. While they were doing this, a small bird alighted on the window sill. Her mother gently passed it on to Benedetta, who joyfully began to sing with an angelic voice an old song entitled: "Wandering Little Swallow". Her mother watched the flight of the little bird as it left Benedetta's hand, and with a joyful trill came to rest upon a rosebush in the garden, from whence almost miraculously a beautiful white rose suddenly blossomed. Noticing her mother’s agitation at seeing this strange sight she sighed and said: "Mother, for those who believe, everything is a sign".

A sudden pallor appeared in her face, as she insisted that her mother re-read her friend Lucio's letter, wherein citing St. Paul, he had spoken of the triumph of the Cross. Then, referring to a medical student, who, in a bitter letter published in "Epoca", had said that he was unable to love and therefore was unable to believe, she haltingly said: "Mother... Epoca... I am dying... tell him... I love him." Then in a whisper she added: "Mother... remember... the... legend?" Her mother did not understand what she was referring to, and it only came to her a few days after Benedetta's death. It was the legend of the beggar and the King.

"I had gone begging from door to door along the path of the village, when in a distance appeared your golden coach like a wondrous sign; I asked myself: Who is this King of all kings?
My hopes increased and I thought my sad days were now ended; I stood there waiting hoping that an alms would be given to me without my asking for it, and that the riches would be spread all over in the dust.
The coach stopped right in front of me. Your glance fell upon me as you stepped down with a smile. I felt that the supreme moment of my life had arrived. But all of a sudden, you extended your right hand and asked me: What have you to give Me?
Ah! what a royal gesture that was to extend your palm to beg of a poor man. Confused and hesitant, I slowly pulled a grain of corn out of my sack and I gave it to you.
But imagine my great surprise, when at the end of the day, I emptied my sack upon the floor and found in the poor little pile of corn, a tiny little grain of gold.
I wept bitterly for not having had the heart to give all that I possessed".

(Rabindranath Tagore).

It was the hour of truth. Benedetta had given all.
Her last word was "thanks".
Thus ended the earthly life of this heroic young woman who shared in the cross of Christ, so that she might share His Love with others. And thus began that marvellous life after death that was "to move the world mysteriously" and was "to live in others".

Benedetta was buried in the cemetery at Sirmione. Her body was later exhumed and taken to her native Dovadola. There she now lies in a very fine sarcophagus in the Benedictine Church of St. Andrew. Her words are imprinted on one side of it: " I am not dying, yet I am entering into Life."

Like Jesus, Benedetta became food and drink for others. She gave all. She became fruitful: her life of love did not end with her death, but it will bring fruit for generations to come. Her life of love will bear and give fruit for Eternity.