This thirst and hunger are alive in all the letter that Benedetta with much difficulty is writing to her friends and family members: "... as for me, I live my usual life, and yet it seems so complete... it is true, though, that life in itself is a miracle, and I would like to raise a hymn of praise to Him Who gave it to me...At times I am asking myself if it is I one of those to whom much has been given and much will be requested..." (At Easter with her family)

In May '62 Benedetta went to Lourdes by hospital train for the very first time. Great is her abandonment in God, even if she has a project of her own: "I desire to become a nun. I have made a vow"... Coming back from this pilgrimage, she writes: "I went to ask for healing, but God's criteria is higher than our and He acts always for our good". (picture)

Close to her, before the grotto, a paralyzed young woman lays in her stretcher: it is Maria D.B. She is desperate and cries. Benedetta comforts her, then takes her hand and presses it to hers, as gathered into one prayer: " Maria! The Madonna is there, the Madonna is looking at you. Tell the Madonna to help you", and she gathers in a profound silence. After a short time, Maria gets up from her stretcher and starts walking. On her way back, Benedetta writes: "Somebody on our pilgrimage had a miracle: what emotion and what joy! The compassion of God is limitless".

Benedetta starts her difficult walk again, dying to herself more and more: " Lourdes I went through a very dry period, but now I am coming back with much faith and humility. We do need to be humble, to admit that we are poor, so that we may ask for and recognize the truth..."

27th February 1963. Clinic city in Milan. Benedetta is operated on the head for the last time. She is afraid. Maria Grazia writes to her Bernanos' words from the Diary of a country curate. She slightly changes the text so that Benedetta wouldn't find out that the curate is speaking about his death: "If I am afraid, I will say without shame - I am afraid - and the Lord will give me safety and help". Benedetta reads and keeps repeating these words in a low voice, in complete abandonment, and thanks her friend with extraordinary tenderness.

During the hours immediately following the operation, Benedetta was in immeasurable pain. She cried: "What agony, my God, what agony, but I want to give myself willingly with joy - not because I must - but because I want to. I find myself once again in the Garden of Olives. Yes, the Lord is my Shepherd - thank you for reminding me".

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